Knowing when to let go, the skill you were not taught

You may have been taught many skills while growing up, but were you taught when and how to let go? Knowing when to let go is a skill that may come in handy when you least expect it.

Knowing when to let go
Knowing when to let go may help you break free from the chains holding you back.

When was the last time you had to walk away from something or someone who was important to you? Was it an easy decision to make then? Letting go is never an easy decision to make, and knowing when to let go is important.

Are you holding on or being held back?

There is a slight difference between holding on and being held back. Before you decide what you action will be, albeit to let go or to continue holding on, you should know the difference.

The difference lies in recognising whether it was a mistake or is it just a tough period you’re experiencing. What we’re focusing on here, is identifying whether you’re holding on to mistakes, and making the decision to let go.

Recognising a bad decision

We make lots of choices throughout our lives. Not all of them are good, and not all of them are bad either.

You may have made some bad choices in the past, not knowing how they were going to turn out. You could even still be dealing with the consequences from some of these choices you made.

Before you can figure out what’s your next step, you have to first identify what you’re dealing with. A bad decision that’s sucking the life out of you, or a tough decision close to fruition.

Key difference between a bad decision from a tough decision is this; Bad decisions typically mean you’re on a repetitive loop with no foreseeable goals, while tough decisions have defined goals with obstacles that makes you doubt yourself.

So, you’re dealing with a bad decision, what should you do?

I could say the easy stuff like just walk away from the situation, or break up with the person. Truth is, if it was easy, all of us would’ve done it.

You see someone in a bad situation, its easy to suggest them to just walk away. Ever wondered why its not that easy to do so when you’re the one in the bad situation? That’s usually the result of something I call the “victim mode”.

What’s “victim mode”, and what does it have to do with anything?

When I speak to the people around me, I realised that everyone’s got their own troubles, and you’ll probably say “No shit” at this point. What you might not realise is the way people position themselves determines how they’re gonna turn out.

When people get themselves into a bad situation, they would think one of two things. Either “why did this happen to me?” or “how can I get myself out of this?”.

After they manage to get themselves out of that bad situation, the same person will ask themselves this. Either “why does this always happen to me?” or “how can I prevent this from happening again?”

Notice the difference between those two narratives? One person falls into victim mode, where they believe things are happening to them. The other believes they are making these decisions, and they have the power to change their fates.

You want to walk away now, how do you do it and make it stay?

Good on you to have decided you want to walk away from the bad decision. So how can you go about it and make it stay that way?

Its incredibly easy to fall into the victim mode, and its constantly reminding yourself that bad decisions have no benefits for you. There is no prize in holding onto a bad decision, because there are no goals in bad decisions.

Needless to say, you have to tell or even convince yourself, that nothing will change. Understand that you are better than this, and you deserve better. Stop procrastinating, and actually walk away.

What we also want to do is turn that narrative around; stop being the victim of bad decisions. You need to believe that you have the power to control your fate, to walk away from the bad things that’s happening in your life.

What happens next?

I’ve said a lot, you’ve heard even more. What happens next is ultimately up to you. Knowing when to let go is not enough, also know when to walk away.

With all the mindset and skills in the world, there’s still something you have to do; walk away. I wish there was an easy way to tell you this, but unless you walk away from your bad decision, nothing will EVER change. At least not permanently.

If it was a bad relationship, there may be a glimmer that they will change. For a job, there’s often a hint of promotion lingering. Don’t get sold by these glimmers. If things were going to change, it would’ve done so a long time ago.

You are in charge of your life. Evaluate your life decisions, figure out which of them are holding you back. Do something about those that are preventing you from achieving your full potential.

Before I sign off, I just want you to know, that you’re not alone when dealing with the ghosts of your past. Drop me a comment or contact me through my contact page, let me know how I can help.

Good luck!

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